


Falling A Little Harder

by Anon_M



Category: Karneval (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angsty?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:48:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9635513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_M/pseuds/Anon_M
Summary: Gareki hasn't ever felt the need to fall a little harder before than now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in the middle of the night to the song Let It Go by James Bay and the song Sky Is Born by Radical Something, so I'm not too sure how this turned out.  
> i didn't proofread any of it, so tell me about my mistakes so i can fix them.

Times had never been harder. 

Snow fell like tears onto pale cheeks. Rain fell like the bodies, and Gareki's health plummeted like the small white haired animals life did.  
It felt like there was bright smile there one moment, and screaming the next. Terrified tears instead of clear red eyes, as the snow turned the same shade as his irises. Angry screams and cries for help filled the winter air as they all realized that it wasn't an outside force tearing their beloved Niji apart, it was something that started as his core, his very essence as a human. 

Things felt like they had broke into shambles within minutes. It felt like Gareki had lost his best fiend, his most trusted in moments, and his only loved person in seconds. Watching Nai scream, watching him fall to the ground, tearing at his own skin, watching him writhe in pain while they all tried to process how to help. Gareki stood there, frozen, as the boy died, right there, bleeding, screaming, falling to pieces. 

***

Nai has always had porcelain skin. It was white as snow, and just as fragile as glass. He bruised easily, and he was careless when it came to himself. He never slowed down, and the only thing keeping him from accidentally killing himself so far was Gareki's hand in his, guiding him away from danger.  
Gareki prided himself in that fact. In the fact that he alone, with no training had saved Nai more times that anyone else, just by pulling him away from the edge of something. 

The Niji loved to see pretty things, always begging to go to the zoo, or to an art museum, or to a pet store. Any place that had things that weren't necessarily unique, but special in their own way. Nai had this deep understanding that something didn't have to be perfect to pretty. It didn't have to be a feature piece, and it didn't even have to be particularly appealing to look at. He could just see beauty in the smallest of things. There was rarely something that Nai couldn't point out something good about, and although his boyfriend would never admit it, Gareki loved that about him. 

Even though Nai could point out the beauty in everything, his absolute favorite thing to look at was Gareki. He loved the way that Gareki's chin curved, and ow blue his eyes were, and he loved Gareki's smiles, loved the way that only he could make them happen. Once, when Gareki was studying for a test, Nai just watched him, studied his entire face, and when Gareki asked what he was doing, he replied with, "Counting all the reasons why I'ml ucky to have you". Gareki had never been so pleased by a comment in his life. Nai never failed to give him butterflies. 

***

Gareki never really knew when he fell in love with Nai. Maybe it was they first met, when he helped Nai escape, or maybe it was when they were on the train. He didn't know, but he did know when it struck him that he was in love the small boy, he knew when he realized that he was head over heels in love with his tupid fucking animal. 

It was hide and seek. Nai fell right out the ship, and almost died. As soon as Gareki felt defenseless, all he could feel is fear. Not for himself, for Nai. He was beyond horrified at the possibility of the adorable boy getting hurt, and seeing him throw that rock, and try so hard, forced him to see. 

Nai was all he wanted, all he needed, what he strove for in this world. Purity and sweetness, all at its finest, sitting only a few steps away, making him wonder when he had fallen so goddamn hard for this kid. 

*** 

Nai's death hit them all hard. Yogi cried for days, and Tsukumo didn't eat. 

Yet, no one broke as much as Gareki did. Gareki watched the boy he kissed every night, the boy who wanted sit on his lap whenever they ate dinner, the boy who he saved, die. He watched as the one pretty thing he saw, bled, his porcelain skin, cracking from the inside. 

People could've heard Gareki screaming from the ground when he was on the ship, but no one eve said anything to him. They let him tear apart everything he owned, and replaced it when he wore himself out. They let him visit Nai's grave everyday. They took turns holding him through nightmares, and they always made sure that he went the counseling sessions Hirato required him to go too. 

They were Yogi and Tsukumo, and Gareki didn't think he could've been more grateful for them. He told them everyday how appreciative he was if them, and he thanked them whenever they did something.  
Eventually they stopped doing those things for him. They stopped walking him to sessions. They stopped coming when he screamed in his sleep. They didn't stop him when he reached for a knife and cut his own skin to release some of the pain.

No one said anything to him anymore. 

So he stopped going to sessions. 

And no one said a goddamn thing. 

He stole knives with them standing there. 

Still they said nothing. 

Gareki slowly came to believe that they didn't care anymore. That the only reason either of them were nice to him was because of Nai. That the only reason Hirato was pulling him into his office at this very moment, was because of Nai. Nai was the reason for everything, and even after death, he was still the reason. 

Gareki was wrong. 

"it's been a concern to all of us for a long time, that you aren't mentally or emotionally stable, Gareki." Hirato said, staring at Gareki was glittering eyes of condemnation and slight irritation, as if to say he was annoyed by Gareki's grief.  
"Knives are going missing, and coming back dull. You haven't been going to your sessions. You scream every time you sleep." Gareki wasn't seeing Hirato, he was looking right through him, into the wall, and out of it, into the pale blue of the sky, lost in thought. 

"Gareki. I don't think I can send you to school in this state." This remark certainly grabbed at Gareki's attention. 

"What? Why not? You have to send me, we had a deal." Anger flared inside of the boy, but it was short-lived, as were most of his emotions. 

"You're sick." 

***

Gareki knew exactly what he meant by sick, and he hated everything about it. He hated that Hirato was right, he hated Dr. Akari for finding the things he had etched into his skin. He hated himself for being so angry, so sad, so antisocial. 

He wanted to be with Yogi and Tsukumo and Nai like before. Nai was dead and the others weren't allowed to see him anymore, not that they visited him in the treatments center. 

He was sad. 

So goddamn sad.


End file.
